a wife without a house

I have always held the position that although I work outside the home, my primary responsibility is that of the home and household.  Thankfully my full time schedule actually means I only work 10 - 11 days a month and for every day that I work I have two off.  The first of those two would usually involve going to the gym and recovering from the 24hr shift at work.  The second - the home - laundry, vacuuming, cooking, cleaning and running errands.  This was shaken up a little when I became a very proud mother of a little boy, Skyler, and even more so now that he is a toddler - and thinks he is in his "terrible twos"!  Although, I haven't kept a perfectly clean and tidy house - my husband is a perfectionist - and dinner has not always been on the table when he comes home, I took pride in our home and trying my best to live up to the expectations of well, me.  I always thought they were my husband's but really I was the one putting most of the pressure on.  In the first couple of years, he let me know what he wanted and expected but when I went to working full-time out of the home and he was a full-time student, he relaxed a lot and helped a lot; but I always kept the position that the home is my responsibility.  After two years on the market, we finally sold our house last October.  I was initially really excited and ready to live closer to where we both work - we both had a good hour commute.  For a lot of people that isn't bad but I was struggling with the drive after some 24hr shifts where we had been up most of the shift and Miles was gone from 6.30am to 6.30/7.30pm and we barely had any time together.  Let alone when Skyler was born - Miles would get home as Skyler went to bed and would be gone before he got up in the am.  We moved in with my inlaws when we sold our house for what I thought was going to be 2 - 6 wks - while we found a place to rent or found a place to buy and went through the 4wks that it takes to close.  Then we found out that finding a rental in that time was going to be challenging and it could be as much as 8 - 10wks.  The idea horrified me.  I get on well with my inlaws and that has been a blessing but not having a house, left me feeling, well lost.  I was also very impatient and wanted to move "now"  I'm sure the idea of not having to worry about household duties and being able to spend time with your children without feeling guilty about not doing housework sounds appealing to a lot of people, but to me I felt like I had just been fired.  I have enjoyed spending time with Skyler and watching him learn and grow don't get me wrong, but there is only so much energy and patience to play with the same toys or the same game hour after hour after hour without feeling like you should and need to be doing something else.  The first couple of weeks went a lot better than I thought, but as the time past, I grew more and more agitated that I didn't have my own house to make a home.  I was not able to control what we ate or did not eat (although my mother-in-law is a very good cook and I love the dishes she makes).  Exercising was a challenge and pretty much non-existent.  I felt like I could not show my love for my husband by cooking, cleaning and being the "keeper" of the home.  We eventually found a place that we put an offer in on - after 3 wks of negotiating - was accepted.  The time the offer was accepted I had initially hoped the following week would have been our move out date - mid Dec.  I was desperate to be in our own home by Christmas.  I wanted to decorate our home and plan some special Christmas memories/traditions for our family.  This didn't happen as the first closing date was set for the 14th of Jan, then the 21st of Jan, then the 26th of Jan and finally the 28th of Jan.  By this point, although I know better, I feel like we are never going to have our own space again and I'm not going to be able to serve my husband in the manner I was and even in a better way.  As of right now we don't know when we are going to close - there is hope that the closing will take place this coming Wednesday - Feb 2nd - but it has not been given as an official date and no-one really know when it will be.  The most frustrating part is that it is all down to the seller and not on our side - we are ready!!!!  I think and feel that a house is where a wife gets to express herself.  A wife's personality is shown by how she keeps and decorates her house.  The place the people she loves calls "home".  My patience has truly been and is continuing to be tested and I'll again say that I am happy that I have a good relationship with my inlaws for this has been a challenging few months emotionally.  I am looking forward to making our new house into a home that my husband can come home to and relax after a day in the office; and that Skyler can grow and learn in a safe environment.